Dian Ekowati

A tribute for my lovely niece who had just passed away, and for my brother and sister in law…

Yesterday, I feel like I was lightning struck in the day light when I heard that my brother-in-law’s daughter had passed away…early in the morning. I just could not bring my self to believe it..

I and my husband took the most possible earliest flight from Surabaya to Jakarta.

I have had to push my self to be strong and tough when I met my brother and sister… but I failed. I have to cry with them in grievance… sorrow… I had to bring my self to see the pictures of her cute little face, and suddenly…. something’s I feel inside my heart… I just want to see my kids…in Surabaya… I wanna go home.

I just realize from my brother case that it is one of the moment that you will regret for your whole life when you cannot see and touch your beloved person….

The lesson learned is that do spend more quality time with your beloved people… just more time… I know I love my family, I love my husband, and I love my 3 georgeous kids… I love them with all my life…. and I cannot imagine something bad fall upon them… Please yaa ALLAH yaa ROB, please bless my family and take care of us all….

I cried and cried and cried and cried…. I cannot do anything to turnback the time, but I might be able to prepare for a better future for my beloved family….

I promise to become a better mom for my family…  I promise…and I will do it…with all my heart !

I love you all !

Somehow, I think about the leadership theory I teach in the university. Does the theory give us something different that really reflects the assessment of good leader? Leadership is situational…that was Hersey and Blanchard say… however, none of the theories reveals about factors constructing ineffective leadership….

Below…you may read one of them…as an enlightment of all of those existing theories you have learn formerly. This article is written by Chris Ortiz on http://bulliedacade mics.blogspot. com/2007_ 03_01_archive. html. It is ironic… yet, incompetent leaders surround us, indeed !!! HOW ABOUT YOUR LEADER..?. Here are the signs:

1. Delegate work rather than balance work loads. This allows all attention to be diverted from them in case of failure. It may seem to them that are managing their people but in actuality they are creating work imbalances within the group. It can create unnecessary overtime for some and under utilization of others. A good manager is aware of the skill sets of all the people below them and should allocate work accordingly while trying to enhance the skills of everyone to be even more productive.
2. Reduce all answers to Yes or No rather than explaining their reasoning. This is an example of a crisis manager who can not think farther than a few hours ahead. A yes/no manager finds it a waste of time to find the real answer through intellectual thought. They are already thinking about the next crisis.
3. Not separate personal life from professional life. They will bring their personal problem to work. Working for these types of managers can be very dramatic. They are unable to separate their emotional imbalances while trying to manage people. They are less focused and will not give you the attention and direction you need for success.
4. Manage crisis. If you are a company that has crisis managers, then you can say goodbye to innovation and progression. Proactive thinking is critical to the success of any company. If you are not finding ways to stop or reduce the amount of crisis that has to be managed, then your competition will pass you by. Leaders have to think out of the box and make change.
5. Create an environment where mistakes are unacceptable. Being held accountable for wrong decisions is a fear for them. Making mistakes only helps you become a better person, manager, etc. I use the analogy of a basketball player that has no fouls. If they are not going for the ball and taking chances with their opponent, then they are trying hard enough. Take a chance and don’t be scared.
6. Humiliate or reprimand an employee within a group. This is a clear and visible sign of a poor leader. A good leader takes employee problems away from a group setting to a more private setting. If you have a boss that does this, it is time for a visit to human resources.
7. Not stand behind subordinates when they fail. Never leave your people to hang out to dry. Always back them up, right, wrong, or indifferent. If an employee tries their best in a situation and they fail to come through. They should be commended on their effort and not punished for the failure.
8. Encourage hard workers not smart workers. I am not impressed with hard workers. A hard worker is usually defined by hours. Smart workers are the ones that I hire and embrace. Smart workers understand the concept of time management and multi-tasking. Poor leaders miss this connection. Smart workers are methodical in their thinking and can generally be successful because of their abilities management projects and time. Hard workers may take twice as long to do the work. It is important to assign work accordingly to the skills and personalities.
9. Judge people on hours not performance. This is similar to #8. Again, I am not impressed with overtime junkies. They have lost all perspective on a healthy family/balance. Bad managers will promote the employees that work the most hours and not look at the smart ones who work less, meaning have better time management. Stop watching the lock.
10. Act differently in front of their leaders. This is an indication of low self-confidence. They have doubts about their own ability to lead and they will act like little children when authority is present. A confident person acts the same around everyone. Remember, have respect for them, but also have self-respect.

See… that writing should bring us some reflections on ourselves. I -myself- do also think that I might be doing one of those lowsy things… One thing to do is improve ourselves… to be better each and everyday…

The journey is never ending….